Personal Questions
by WannabeNinjas
Summary: Ever wanted to ask some of the Naruto characters 'personal questions? Well, here some of them are! A collaboration fic, see profile for more info.
1. Hatake Kakashi

_Bonjour, mes amis!_ Stephanie (La-Garce-Fille) here. Kay, this is one of our fun shorts entitled: "Personal Questions". Today's personal question is……Hatake Kakashi!

Kay, here's how this whole question thingy works. This is a collection of shorts about random questions that our characters, Marnie Andrews (Mine), Jean Forest (Kerby's), and Fly La-Cove (Michelle's), ask. They're hanging out with Naruto characters, and asking…….well, personal questions.

Warning: **_VERY SUGGESTIVE AND KINDA WRONG!_** We weren't exactly sure if it was a T or an M, so we're going for the T. But, as to not get our asses busted, we gave you the warning. If you didn't read it, that is so not our problm. Also, lots of Kakashi embarrassment! You have been warned…….

So, enjoy the story. Oh, and the disclaimer…….

Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto. We wish we did, but we don't. And that sucks beyond all friggin belief………. (BTB, this applies to all the chappies. )

777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777

**Personal Questions/Kakashi**

It was 12:05 am.

26-year-old Hatake Kakashi and 15-year-olds Marnie Andrews, Jean Forest, and Fly La-Cove were sitting at a table eating oreos. Why oreos? Because it was Jean's idea…. So, anyway, the room was quiet. A little too quiet for a blonde heiress's taste…..

"Hey, Kashi-kun?"

Kakashi looked up from his oreos and milk, along with Jean and Fly. "Yes, Marnie?"

"What are you in the bedroom?"

Milk almost shot out of his nose. "WHAT!"

Jean and Fly never laughed so hard in their lives……

"What are you in the bedroom?"

"What the hell are you talking about!"

"Ya know, are ya a screamer? Do you like to be dominated or the dominating one? Are you a bondage man? Hell, are ya even good?"

"Marnie, are you high?"

"……..No…….Why? It's a simple question………."

"Yes," he replied closing his one visible eye. "But it's a very…..personal question."

"Oh. So you have sex with the lights off. I see…"

"Marn! What the hell?" Fly yelled through laughs. Jean couldn't speak……

"What!"

"Marn, why are you asking? Shouldn't Kakashi's sex life be his _own_ business!" Jean asked. She could talk now! Yay!

"It should!" Kakashi exclaimed, turning slightly red.

"I don't understand what the big deal is. I mean, all of us are like family. So, it shouldn't be such a big deal if we talk about Kakashi's sex life. Hell, it might be interesting. You guys ever think of that?"

"NO!" Jean and Fly answered in unison. Kakashi was a very deep crimson by this point…….

"Besides, I don't know why he's even getting embarrassed by all of this. Kakashi's like the biggest pervert I know! If anything, he should be proud of his exploits!"

"Well...that's not technically...um..." Kakashi trailed off.

The room went silent again. Then, the uncomfortable silence was broken by,

"So…..you never answered my question, Kakashi."

"I……I mean… I….." Kakashi stuttered.

Marnie looked to Jean and Fly, then started laughing. "I brought the great Hatake Kakashi, the Sharingan warrior, to his knees…….in a metaphorical sense!"

Kakashi turned crimson again.

Jean and Fly hung their heads, and went back to eating their oreos.

"What about gel?"

"What?" the still-red Kakashi asked, with an exasperated sigh.

"What about warming gel? Do you like to use it?"

If it was possible, Kakashi turned even more red.

"MARNIE!" Jean and Fly screamed, turning red with anger and not embarrassment, unlike Kakashi.

"Yes?" Marnie wore a smug look.

Kakashi took the opportunity of the girls' arguing and quickly pulled his mask down to shove oreos in his mouth as an excuse not to talk, then pulled it back up just as quick. His face was still red as hell.

"Marn, maybe you should stop. I think he's going to lose all of his blood if it keeps going to his face…" Jean said, growing a little concerned for Kakashi's sake.

"If he'll just answer me, maybe I'll stop."

Kakashi sighed deeply. He swallowed the cookies, and finally looked Marnie in the face.

"Were they good, Kashi-kun?" Fly asked.

He smiled under his mask. "Yep. Sure were. A little dry though..."

Marnie didn't say anything. She waited patiently for Kakashi to come to her.

"No, sort of, yes, kinda, and I've been told I am."

"Huh?" Fly and Jean asked, bewildered.

"The answers to Marnie's questions," he answered, turning red again. "No, sort of, yes, kinda, and I've been told I am."

Marnie face wore a look of amusement, while Jean and Fly were shocked beyond all belief. Kakashi actually **_answered_**! It was friggin amazing……..

"And what about the gel?"

Kakashi sighed again. "Occasionally."

"I see. Pret-ty interesting, Kashi-kun."

"Yeah, whatever." Kakashi had an idea. "And what about _you_, Marnie?"

Marnie smiled, picked up an oreo, and replied, "Another night, hun. Another night." Then put said cookie in her mouth.

_**Fin**_

7777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777

So, there you have it. The first personal question. _Finis_, _bien sûr, par moi._ So, read and review and let us know what ya think. Next victim, I mean questionee: the one and only, Uchiha Itachi!

Lots of Luff! -LGF (Steph)


	2. Uchiha Itachi

_Hola, amigos. _This is Metallic Ghost (Kerby) presenting you with another chapter of the Naruto: Personal Questions fanfiction. Yes, it's another victi- erm, participant- in the happy little shorts we're writing for your amusement. Today's question is for... Itachi.

The process of the fic was already explained in the first chapter. So was the disclaimer, but I'll say it again just because.

Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto, and we're pretty sure all but maybe one of you (the author, of course) don't either. Which is sad, but you learn to live with it and become a raving fan.

Warning: Possibly slightly OOC Itachi (I make that look good XD) and the consumption of _mucho _alcohol. _Vale? Vale. _

_Fruir! _

777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777

**Personal Questions/Itachi**

Fly La-Cove, Jean Forest, and Uchiha Itachi were all hanging out in the living room of Marnie's house. Just a casual Sunday night among…..friends. Right? Erm…sure, why not. In any case, Itachi would've been the only exception, but……ah, where was I going with this again? Oh, whatever.

So, anyway. Marnie had gone shopping at the mall, typically, and even though it was getting late (as in, around nine), she still hadn't returned. Then again, we're talking about the girl who drags you everywhere if you make the mistake of taking her to Wal-Mart….(True story! XD). Well, there all three of them were just sort of sitting there and minding their own business. It was quiet…….kinda. I say kinda because none other than Fly decided that silence was boring, and had happily pointed her opinion out to the other two in the room.

"Somebody saaaay something!" she cried.

Jean glanced over at her. "Half an hour ago you told us to shut-up," she remarked casually.

Without missing a beat, Fly replied with a simple, "Shut-up." She slumped back on the couch and crossed her arms. "Besides, silence is boring."

After a moment of the unbearably boring silence, she looked at Itachi, raising an eyebrow. "Hey, Itachi? Why are you so weird?"

This random question had caught the S-class shinobi off-guard. Blinking, he looked up from the copy of _Romeo and Juliet_ he was reading. "What?"

"I asked why you're so weird," Fly replied, curious.

Jean sighed heavily. "Fly, that's kind of a personal question that you don't ask, you know," she advised quietly.

"No it's not," Fly smiled happily. "C'mon, tell me, tell me, tell me," she pleaded to Itachi, poking him in the arm.

Itachi's eyebrow twitched as he sighed and went back to his book. Pushing Fly's finger away, he said, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh, come on, " Fly cooed, latching onto his arm, since poking him didn't work. "I wanna know…Why are you so damn weird?"

"What?" Itachi asked again, staring at her and attempting to pry her off his arm.

Getting annoyed with his inane questioning of her, she replied, "I asked you-"

"No, I know what you're talking about, I just want to know what you mean?" he interrupted quickly.

(Jean's just watching all this, in case you're wandering what she's doing……)

Fly blinked. "Oh. Like, why are you all quiet, and why'd you kill your family and stuff?"

Itachi sighed, slightly annoyed, returning to his book. He was at one of the good parts, and Fly was friggin' ruining it. "I don't want to friggin' talk about it, and that's all you're getting out of me. End of discussion."

"Oh," Fly mumbled. "Hey, wanna go raid Marnie's liquor cabinet?"

Jean shook her head, blinking at Fly's random question.

This proposition brought Itachi away from his book yet again. "Marnie has liquor?"

Fly nodded. "Yep. Imported liquor at that."

"A whole cabinet full," Jean added.

Itachi put his book down. "Hell yes," he said determinably. Screw good scenes in some Shakespeare play. Liquor was way friggin' better! So, the three proceeded to the kitchen and the liquor cabinet.

Hours later, Jean was the only truly sober one. Thankfully, Fly was still pretty sober, but Itachi was, more or less, completely stoned. He was slumped forward over the kitchen table, staring at the half-full glass of Sake. Jean and Fly were silent.

"Hey…" Itachi mumbled, slurring his speech just a little bit (ahem). "You know something….? I……didn' ev'n relleh wan'……wan'……wait, wait, I…'h know 'is…..ah……that….that thing…..fam'ly. Yusss, tha's it……I didn' wanna………… y'know……'ey, Jean, 's that thing with the knife an' the blood and the……yeah…?"

Jean sighed. "Killing?" she supplied dully.

"Yeah...'s it," Itachi agreed with a shake of his head, still slurring his speech just a bit. "Killin'…..didn' wan'…wanna…..kill 'em. Family, I mean. Huh…" He shook his head again and it almost looked like he was finally asleep. "Yah….th'k…."

…Okay, so maybe he was slurring his speech a lot.

"Didn' wan' kill……..kill 'em," Itachi continued. "Jus'……….didn' know…..whether I was strong 'nough. Had to……test my…my…..how good I was. I didn' mean t' kill 'em, really. Hand….slipped…"

Fly sighed, studying him. "Well, damn," was all she had to say.

Jean propped her chin in one hand, sighing inwardly. "_They're drunk_," she thought. "_Aw, damn…_"

Itachi wordlessly picked up his glass and drained it, knocking it back down on the table.

At that moment, Marnie walked into the kitchen, holding various bags full of 'necessities'. She stopped in the doorway, clearing her throat, and the only person who didn't look up was Itachi.

"So, lemme get this straight," Marnie sighed. "You broke into my house-"

"No, you told us to house-sit," Fly interrupted.

Marnie blinked, "When'd I do that?"

"Right before you left to go shopping." Jean finished.

"Oh…That's not the point! The point is, you guys are her in my house, you got him," she gestured to Itachi, "**drunk**, which is actually pretty sweet, he's really hot when he's drunk- aah! No, wait! Damn-, and you drank all the liquor in my liquor cabinet!"

For some unknown reason, Itachi burst into giggles, the others giving him weird looks.

"Itachi, hun? Are you all right?" Marnie asked, growing concerned for the poor giggling man.

"You're pretty," Itachi replied between fits of giggles.

"Oh, thank you," Marnie beamed, then blinked in afterthought. "How much did you guys drink anyway….?" she asked slowly.

Fly waved a hand in dismissal. "Well, first the wine was, like, drunk, and….then everything else just started disappearing. But I think Itachi drank most of it."

Jean nodded carefully.

"You three drank all the liquor in my cabinet, is what you're telling me, right?" Marnie asked, growing increasingly with anger or annoyance, hell, maybe both. She wasn't sure.

"No, Itachi drank it," Fly corrected, raising a hand.

Marnie put her hands on her hips, frowning. "It doesn't matter, you stole my friggin imported, very expensive liquor! Does that mean **_nothing_** to you?"

"Obviously not," Fly answered sheepishly, afraid of Marnie's response.

This growing, heated argument caught the attention of the drunken ninja. Itachi looked up, his eyes shining. "But that means that if you wanted your liquor back, you'd have to cut us open and drain our stomachs of it! I don' wanna be cut open!" he whined.

Marnie walked over and took a kunai from Itachi's coat (he had taken it off) lying on the chair next to him. Holding it up for him to see, she said, "Hun, I have no problems doing that."

Itachi whimpered.

Fly patted his back reassuringly.

For a while, Marnie fumed. "I can't believe you guys drank all my liquor!" she whined.

Itachi held up the last bottle. "Chill, hun. Have some Rum," he offered, forgetting the whole kunai/cutting-him-open incident.

Marnie blinked, then shrugged and grinned. "Okay!"

An hour later, when Marnie was successfully drunk, she raised her head. "When I'm sober," she mumbled, "I'm so gonna kick all your asses."

7777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777

So concludes another chapter of _Personal Questions_. Don't sue me for slamming Itachi; you'll get ten essays and an art sketchbook. Seriously. _Adios!_

_-_MG (Kerby)


	3. Sabaku no Gaara

**GP**: Oh yeah. You hate me, you love me, you don't even freaking know me! I would be Michelle, Gingerbread Pancake, or, the more used, Hey You Kid! So ya know; I own nothing of Naruto, shame, huh? Psh. Now just sit back, relax, and enjoy this crappy fic about…

**Gaara's Personal Question!**

"Ah." Gaara puffed, steam and hot air trailing out of the bathroom door with him.

In only a towel, the sand ninja made his way through the rooms of the house toward his own room. He would have made it if Hatake Kakashi, Fly, and Marnie hadn't been up late and all in the kitchen for no reason at all.

Kakashi blinked, looking up from the plate of donuts and sake bottle, "Geeze, no cloths, Sand Boy?"

Gaara froze.

But, sadly, Kakashi was no t-rex (more of a pervasaurus but that's not anything to worry about now). This would have him good; the only thing worse than being seen in a towel by Kakashi a second time was when Fly had managed to pants (or shank for all you guys in Maryland) him.

But this was nothing new to the girls; Gaara had a habit of strutting in little to no clothing. It was a habit he started when he was young; the desert makes clothing a bother.

Hatake Kakashi freaked.

"I won't have a nudist in this damn hotel; I pay rent for you guys and it'll skyrocket if they think people have unclothed butts on the couch!"

While Kakashi kept ranting, Fly leaned over towards Marnie, smirking, "Think Kashi-kun'll like our nudist parties?"

"Aw, I know. And we were gunna invite him next time, too." Marnie giggled.

Kakashi paused, "No fair." And went back to ranting at Gaara, who'd used the time to get his boxers on and sit at the table.

"I've always wanted to know why you did that, actually." Marnie blinked.

Gaara looked up from his lemon-cream donut, "Did what?"

"Strut in a towel or boxers." Fly explained, "I find it cute but I wonder sometimes, too."

Cute. Yuck, Fly used that word to talk about him way too much. Gaara was sure he'd never been 'cute' in his life but he'd given up on trying to get Fly to stop.

Gaara took a big bite and stated flatly, "Thermal."

"Like thermal expansion? That's dirty, Gaara-kun!" Marnie giggled, the 13-year-old's face going crimson.

"No!" Gaara sputtered, "It's got to do with putting on cloths when you're hot!"

"So does what I'm talkin' about." Marnie frowned.

"But!" Gaara blurted.

"So you're small?" Kakashi scoffed.

"I-uh-ir!"

"Oh, come on guys." Fly to the rescue! She could be so nice sometimes.

"I've seen him in his boxers plenty of times; he's average." Now was not one of those times, "Kakashi's got him beat."

"I would hope so!" Marnie laughed as Kakashi threatened to show off his manhood, "Gaara's got a few more years to wait."

Gaara just slumped, feeling too young for these people. How'd they get on the subject of his manly parts, anyway?

"Kakashi!" Fly giggled, looking up to see the sensei strutting around, "Put your pants back on! You look better that way. Leave the strutting to Gaara."

How crude.


End file.
